I created my blog account last night, well, truthfully in the wee hours this morning, with absolutely no idea why I was doing it or what I ultimately, firmly wanted to do with my life. After reading the two pieces listed above, I went to bed with visions of sugarplums dancing in my head, or maybe it was Glenn's chariot on a ledge. LOL. Whichever. Whatever. It worked.
For years I have known I want to write, and I want to be a public speaker. I have dabbled in both; wanted to get serious about both. I have never known how to reconcile my daily responsibilities - family, friends, household, employment, financial judiciousness, hobbies, interests, social obligations, blah, blah, blah, with the dreams God has given me. I've always known I want to put to good use the experiences I've had and help others, if at all possible. I also firmly believe God gave me a talent for writing. (It remains to be seen whether or not anyone else agrees. Ha!) This is what has especially been probably the largest conflict in trying to reconcile all of this: God has given me a vision of accomplishing all this while living as an unencumbered free spirit, and yet also living large. And by living large, I mean reaching large audiences. I have always wanted the personal aspects of my life to remain private, somewhat solitaire in nature, beautiful and simple. Arriving at a solution that encompasses all of that has been a struggle, to say the least. But I have arrived. I'm there. Now I know!
I consider myself to be out of the chrysalis. Today. Right now, as of this moment, I'm free. My wings will still be wet and stiff, and flight will no doubt encompass a huge learning curve, but at least I have a vision of all facets working together. Do you have any idea what a blessing, what a relief that is? The celebrations - Woohoo! Woot Woot! And all that! - don't even begin to come close to how relieved I am. And this is just the initial planning stage, the seedling sprouting, as it were. Can you imagine what it's going to feel like moving forward to accomplish my goals? This blog will keep me accountable. That in and of itself will be an enormous help. Who knew miracles could come from creating a blog account? Well, we know who knew. Thank you, God. Now I know!
So, I have a lot to do and I have no idea what the timeline will be, but at least I have knowledge of a life I want to accomplish. I WILL map the timeline out eventually and stay the course, but in the meantime, my initial thought is that I will reach my goals in about 5-7 years, tops. Like I said, I have a lot to do. If I get there sooner... Woohoo! Woot Woot! And all that! :)
Here, in a nutshell, is the life I'm going to create:
-- My life will be mobile.
-- I will write.
-- I will be a public speaker.
OMG! I just had to set my laptop down and thank God for the clarity, the peace. Incredibly ecstatic am I! I don't know why I couldn't get here sooner, but I'm on board now - watch out world! Jesus is my driver!
This is the only category of the 3 that I'm sure of. It will look just like Glenn's life from the links above. Only instead of a cat, I want a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel - definitely, maybe. LOL. I say that because when the time comes, if that doesn't work out, a kitcat will be just as perfect. Heck, Miss Hope may still be alive. She's only 10! Sadly, Nonni and Bentley will probably be gone. I may have to put Bentley's pic on the dashboard as I travel tho. He LOVES to travel on the open road. His favorite thing is to stand or sit up tall and stare straight ahead through the windshield as though he's the pilot or something. Don't try to distract him. He's on a mission!
Note: I'm trying not to regret that I didn't get to this point sooner in my life. Bentley would be the perfect mobile mate. Nonni wouldn't LOVE the traveling but she would want to be wherever I was. Period. I just don't see a 70 lb. Rhodesian Ridgeback being happy in a small RV! That's all I'm saying. LOL. Having said that, I also have to say that I can't wait for the day I shut the door on wherever I'm living at the time, and step into my RV, never to look back. That may sound callous but please know that I have already been dreading the grief I am going to have to face someday when these darlings pass. I've been wondering what I was going to do without them. Now I know! I will still be sad when they are gone, and I will still grieve, but it will be a natural progression to my new life and I will take my babies with me in spirit!
I just realized this also answers my dilemma about home ownership. I desperately want to own my own home again but have been dreading and rebelling against the idea of being strapped with a mortgage and the upkeep of a regular house. I couldn't understand the discrepancy since owning my own home was so important to me and I was SO devastated when I lost it. Still, the idea of traditional home ownership was just not working for me. What an answer to prayer this is! Now I know!
The age old conflict for me has been balancing life while making time to write. I have not successfully been able to routinely do both. Now I don't have to! I will need to work and keep my job (which I am very grateful for), until I can afford my RV AND make a living on the road, but I don't have to include my current career as part of my life plan now. Nor do I need to invest in anymore purchases, etc. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Cull, declutter and downgrade. I don't need much and I certainly don't spend money on "things" but now I don't even need to buy things to establish a home. I'm already headed to freedom! Do you have any idea what kind of energy that is going to free up so that I can write? Right now. Current, real time. The possibilities from there are endless!
And here's an even bigger miracle - I'm going to replace my scrapbooking room with all digital for mobility! That's why I haven't been able to put my room together since moving here! My heart has just not been in it and I haven't been able to figure out why. Now I know! I will finish unpacking it so I can organize it for resale ... or give it away - don't worry family and friends. I haven't forgotten you. LOL.
I am so grateful to live in this modern age of technology so that I have this opportunity. I can stay in touch with loved ones, enjoy my photography and scrapbooking hobby, and still be true to the real me that has been begging to get out for sometime now. The only thing I might still want while on the road is a motorcycle. That remains to be seen. But I digress. This is the writing section.
All of this really does have to do with writing tho. Or the lack thereof. Because these are the issues that have kept me blocked. That block is lifted! I have no idea what my genre will be. I have limitless romance-suspense stories, books for children, one book for preteens so far, and my bio (the only nonfiction piece). Some completed, most not. I also want to try my hand at a few of the screenplays rolling around in my head. Where will the Lord take me on this journey? It will be interesting to find out. At least the journey can now steadfastly progress.
I haven't done this on a large scale in 20 years. Everyone was interested in what I had to say when I was the wife of a wealthy, high profile corporate lawyer. Now, not so much. But that will change. That much I know - I just don't know how. I've already made the announcement in my 2012 Leadership Mansfield Class that I want to get back to public speaking and that I'm a TBI survivor (traumatic brain injury). I also just added to my calendar (even before all the epiphanies) to contact Safe Place next week and offer my services. Where will the Lord take me on this journey? It will be interesting to find out. (Yes, a repeat. There is not an echo on the page. Do not adjust the dial.)
I've always admired the youth of this world that seemingly came out of the womb knowing what they wanted to do with their lives. They held strong, remained steadfast, and accomplished their seemingly predestined goal(s). I could never imagine what that must feel like. And until today, I feared that I would die without ever knowing. Now I know!
So there you have it. I know what my future looks like. I may not know when I will get there or the details on how I'm going to accomplish it or even the minutia. I just know I'm going to do it. Thank you for being on this journey with me.
|My hero since the 70's.|
|A goal since the late 90's.|
|A dream since the 80's.|
|A vision since 10/22/11.|