There are days I question everything about me. Today was one of those days. I do not mean to be offensive here but I have to say this: "I have so many damn itty bitty shitty committees inside my head telling me that I am not going to succeed, that I can't do this, and they come close to paralyzing me sometimes." But I refuse to quit. I refuse to give up. To quote Glenn from his blog, To Simplify, "the New York Times crossword puzzle also makes for an excellent daily reminder of how best to approach complex problem solving." Basically, one grid, one box at a time. Thanks Glenn. Needed the reminder. Love your blog and your viewer comments.
I must interject here that my work environment does not help with my outlook. I am finding it difficult to be patient and stay positive when almost everything is a battle or a struggle - day in and day out, 60-80 hours/week. I will find a way to maintain serenity - just not there yet. Which is just more motivation to keep my eye on the prize, so to speak. Right?
So tonight I went to bed early thinking that might help, only to wake up 3 hours later wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. That's okay. Did something I haven't done since Dad died - read the bible. And I picked out my next writing contest. That's exciting!
I am going to enter a writing contest of 750 words or fewer based on this prompt: "You return to the house where you grew up, only to learn it has been condemned." The deadline isn't until January 10th but I will make it my contest for December. Quick reminder: I have committed to entering a writing contest every month for 2 years. Win, lose or draw, it doesn't matter. The goal is to sustain momentum.
My story this time will be based on one of my childhood homes I lived in where, among other things, I spent the night in the alley one time to stay safe. I was 11. It will be fiction based on the feeling of being condemned as a child --> house being condemned --> justice/freedom. The tricky part will be meeting the limit of 750 words, but I love the challenge. Love the story too and it's not even written yet. I LOVE WRITING!
Also started handing out my business cards today. That was scary but I have to start somewhere. Will shout from the rooftops when I get my first work order. It will help when I get a portfolio created of my before and after shots as a photo artist. And honestly, that may be January, but it will get done. (Trying not to get discouraged here. That whole patience thing again. Go figure. LOL.)
Have to close with what I read in the Bible. It inspired me, especially for my current work situation. I hope it helps you too, Psalm 37:7-9.
"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret - it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land."
Goodnight everybody. Going to try and sleep again for an hour or 2 before the alarm goes off. Happy trails and sweet dreams!