Thursday, December 8, 2011

12/8/11 - Wherever You Go, There You Are

Last week the flu, this week strep. First round of antibiotics didn't do the trick so here goes a 2nd round.  I have been sick, that is true but the worst part is, I'm mental. A sad, numbing, depression has settled in and I can't seem to shake it.

Every night I go to bed and I hope it will be gone when I wake up. Not yet. Maybe tomorrow.

I also feel like my j.o.b. is in trouble and that doesn't help either. I am struggling in all areas of my life and I find myself thinking, "If only I were out there already, living on the open road in my RV, writing for a living." But the truth is, as my friend, the late, great, R. T. Miles would say, "Wherever you go, there you are."

I'm usually a very happy person, content with myself no matter where I am or what I'm doing. All I know is that obtaining my desired future seems to be out there somewhere in some sort of immeasurable distance beyond reach. In the meantime, I seem to have fallen and can't get up.

I realize how I must sound. A friend of mine recently said it is understandable since I have new dreams of wanting to travel and write but all the while I am stuck in day-to-day reality. He used the "r" word, resentment. I know what that can do to one's soul.

So, regardless of where I am, or where I'm not as the case may be, I have got to find a way to be happy, joyous and free AND grateful.  For the moment, in the moment. Moving forward. I'll take any suggestions from my readers that you may have. How do you learn to enjoy life when you're miserable?


  1. I live one day at a time(thank you Jesus)all the while knowing that everything i do today is leading me to that sweet day when i step aboard my motor home to go where ever my heart may lead. And some day you will too!

  2. Hmmmm... so many people are undergoing huge change and transformation right now, myself included.

    Some days it feels like I'm not getting anywhere (or even moving backward) but when I remember to let things unfold in God's time - not mine - it all seems to work out much better.

    You can do this! We all can :)

    I'm here for you.


    PS If you're on antibiotics you need to take probiotics also to replenish the healthy bacteria in your gut. Could save you from digestive problems later. Let me know if you need help with this :)

  3. Deb, this may come across as just a bunch of words, but I find myself in similar situations at times, more often before I made my escape to my present lifestyle, but when I do I just thank God for all that I to eat, clothes to wear, a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, a little money to spend, a vehicle to take me where I need to go, living parents, and a God who loves me just as I am--faults and all!

    By the way, this John fka Gatorep....changed my screen name...seems to fit better!

  4. @JB-ODAT is actually a license plate I had on a motorcycle at one time. Also one of my favorite songs. You gave me a great reminder. Thank you, very much. I look forward to you getting your motor home. Let me know when that day comes. I'll hold you in positive thoughts until then. Thanks again.

  5. @Maria-Jana Stanfield has a great song about transformation, "Butterfly" ( Your comment helped me remember it and I've been listening to it again. Thanks for being there for me. Probiotics-will yogurt do the trick? How did the work go at your place? HugZ!

  6. @BlackSheep fka Gatorep-I didn't get the Gatorep but to be honest, BlackSheep doesn't seem to fit the John I am getting to know either. Interesting choice of names. I don't think I've seen this addressed on your blogs. Will look again. If not, I'd love to know how you came up with the name(s). Email me if you prefer. Thank you too for the gratitude reminder. When I do a daily gratitude list, life is better, brighter. Why is it when we get in funks we let the very tools go that help us the most? I like your list. Was especially glad to see that you still have both parents, a blessing for sure. God gives us many blessings. Thanks again for the reminder.

  7. Yogurt probably isn't strong enough for your needs right now. Get a decent supplement and take it every 1-2 hours until the anti-biotics are gone, then a couple times a day for at least a few more weeks. Gotta keep that good bacteria built up :)

    Got through a lot of stuff today and blogged about it too.

    And I agree with you about John... black sheep doesn't seem quite right. But he gets to be who he wants just like we do, right?

  8. @Maria - Got it. I will go to my favorite health food store tomorrow and get a good supplement. I listed your instructions on a 3x5 card and put in my purse. Thanks Maria! Lovin' your blog! And yes, I support John nmw, his choice. Have a great day! :)