Wednesday, April 11, 2012

4/11/12 - Round One

Wow, what a fascinating, hectic day.  From my Craig's List postings today I received 27 phone calls, exchanged multiple texts with 12 people, and replied to 10 emails!  I made appointments and 5 people came to the house tonight.

I sold some things, yes, but most importantly I met some wonderful people!  Paul bought my lawnmower, weedeater, vacuum cleaner and some knives and knick knacks.  He owns a local restaurant and I enjoyed meeting him and his friends.  He's even read my blog!  Thank you, Paul, especially for the kind words and I appreciate you making the drive to purchase those items.

And on top of that, I got to spend some time with former classmates of mine, Cindy and Leann, that responded to the add off of FB.  How cool is that?   Cindy is going to take my grandmother's cedar chest and it reminds her of her grandmother.  Plus I knew her grandmother so I love this connection!

Cindy and Leann, it was so great to see you both.  It was tons of fun catching up on old times and I'm looking forward to our continued friendships.  What a blessing you two are!  And who knows, maybe someday you'll tell me where your secret fountain of youth is.  Wow.  :)

RECAP
I met wonderful, new people and reconnected with old friends.  I made some money and generally had a great, blessed, full of Grace evening.  Not too shabby!  :)

So, why do I feel so melancholy?

I think it's the unknown.  I wouldn't call it fear exactly.  It's, well, the unknown.  And it feels like I'm going in the wrong direction.  In my mind (which may be the problem all together - LOL), I was supposed to get rid of all my belongings to move into an RV, not a 1 bedroom apartment.

I'm getting rebellious with God again.  I can feel it.  Phrases keep popping up in my head such as, "This had better be the last event in the downward spiral" or "I can do this as long as I start going upward from here, rapidly."  Dangerous territory.

I have to continually stop and remind myself that I am not large and in charge, God is.  My job is to do the next right thing and leave the results up to Him.  And stay in gratitude.  I need to get centered, and to do this I need to carve out more quiet time with God.  When I make more time for Him, and continue doing what I need to do minute by minute, the rest will take care of itself.  It always does.  Why?  Because God's got me covered and I am Living In Grace.  I just need the reminders every now and then.

It doesn't help that I am putting in 16-18 hour days working my j.o.b. and preparing for the garage sale and move.  How on earth did I ever let myself accumulate so much crap and let things get so disorganized?  A semi just needs to back up here and haul all this "stuff" off.  It's embarrassing for people to see my house like this.  Blah, blah and blah.  More dangerous thoughts.

So, in addition to getting God-centered, it's also time to get back to the basics of H.A.L.T. -- taking care of myself -- especially when I'm hungry, angry, lonely or tired.

Hungry
My diet regiment is good right now so hunger is not an issue.  I am eating well and routinely.

Angry
My anger and frustration will diminish as my God time and gratitude increase.

Lonely
It is extremely rare that I ever feel lonely.  I enjoy being alone and I savor solitude, but there are times when I feel overwhelmed tackling all of this by myself.  When I'm centered, and my life is balanced, that is not an issue.

Ahhhh, there it is!  The magical word.  And I didn't even realize it until I typed it just then - BALANCE!  I fear I may never have it in my life again.  That's what this feeling of spiraling downward is about.  It's hard to have balance when things are constantly changing.  That leads right back to Trust and being God-centered and living in Gratitude.  I know how to get back to that.  All will be well.  All IS well.

Tired
Being tired is the one thing I might not be able to do much about right now.  At least it's temporary, or at least I hope it is.  I'm counting on getting into that apartment and shutting the world out for awhile and letting the dust settle.  And yes, getting some much needed rest.  That's my plan, and what's in my head, but as I've said before - God has a way of pointing and saying, "Isn't that cute? She has a plan."  We shall see. 

Thanks for staying with me through all of this wonderful readers.  I'm really glad you're here.  Love and hugZ!

POST EDIT:
I wrote my post above, and the very next thing God put in my path was this from Glenn's blog, To Simplify.  PERFECTION!  Sometimes I think God has a very wicked sense of humor.  Enjoy.


12 comments:

  1. Yup you hit that right on! I've been thinking a lot about balance lately too, and how important it is to maintaining good mental health.

    One step at a time and you'll be moved right on schedule :-)

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    1. @ Maria - thank you, you sweet thing. One step at a time, one minute at a time. My default when life has me stretched this thin. HugZ!

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  2. the video is great, it basically took the long way around to say One Day at a Time and each day is a gift. hopefully you will be more balanced when you are not trying to balance all you are doing with work. working long hours plus selling your treasures and moving, that is a scary thing. for anyone it is. in 1984 i drove from Savannah here to Florida, in a small Nissan pickup truck with everything i owned in the 6 foot bed of that little truck. i can relate to the downward spiral, and that was mine. but it did get better and better.

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    1. @ Sandra - I know what you mean but even taking the long way around it was exactly what I needed at the exact moment I needed it the most. :)

      Thank you for understanding, and thank you for sharing your story. I needed that inspiration, very much, and am looking forward to the better and better. HugZ!

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  3. Balance...yes, very important! When things go wrong in my day, my day gets really screwed up! As a result, I get very screwed up along with it....sometimes, I just have to get away from everything and everybody and hide out all by my lonesome, and wait for perspective to return.

    And thankfully, it always does. You have a lot going on in your life right now...retreat, find a quiet place, and wait it out...the vid Glenn posted was excellent! Sometimes we all need more gratitude. Yes, each day is a gift, what are we doing with that gift??? Life comes at us fast and hard sometimes...solitude is the one thing I have that can make me realize how insignifigant my problems are....100 years from now, nobody will care about it anyway!

    Well, don't know now where to go with this!! lolol.....retreat, find a quiet place, and let perspective come to your mind...

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    1. @ John - thank you. I love what you've written here. And I suspect in 10 years "I" won't even care about all this angst. LOL. Thank you again for the support and understanding. It helps, and it means the world to me. Have a blessed day! HugZ!

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  4. Perspective... instead of thinking you are headed the "wrong way" think of it as a step in the right direction. You are moving into a smaller space to get used to the small space of an RV. And getting rid of excess possessions is definitely a step in the right direction! Keep on keeping on!

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    1. Ahhhh, thank you Teri - I am SO glad you are here. It's always so great to hear from you. I can't wait to catch up on your blog and see what all you guys are up to! I couldn't post to it the last two times I logged on but I suspect it is my lack of a "real" server. Will try again and let you know. HugZ!

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  5. Balance is something I've been trying to work on lately. I think you have a good handle on things and you're doing A-OK :)

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    1. @ Ann - I honestly don't hear THAT very often. Thank you very much! xxo, D

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  6. Hi Debra,
    In reading this, I think that it is an Upward Spiral. You are trying to reach a goal, reaching up! If you look around my "home" you will spot a few frogs. Each frog reminds me to Fully Rely On GOD. That is my constant reminder.

    You are doing just fine, it is one day at a time. Been there done that all by myself. It takes time and we all have to go through the process. When the time is right, it will happen and it will probably happen FAST. Hang in there!

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    1. @ Susan - it means so much to me to here this from you. Thank you! And I can't wait to see the frogs and meet you and Angel. Will email you details. You and your journey have been SUCH an inspiration! Love and hugZ, D

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