Wednesday, September 19, 2012

9/19/12 - Time, Talent & Treasure

I went to my first Prosperity Consciousness class last night.  So much came at me so fast, and so much was revealed, I left there in a semi-state of shock.  It is going to kick my butt, I think.  In a good way, I hope.

We signed a COMMITMENT contract.  I had no problem with that because I have been saying that I would stand on my head 2 hours a day if I was told that it would make the necessary changes for me to have a better life.  So I have COMMITTED to "tithing" the following:

Time – 10% approximates to 90 minutes/day for Prayer & Meditation and Spiritual Growth.
Talent – 10% comes out to approximately 4 hours/week of volunteering, donating or giving of myself.
Treasure – 10% tithes.  We turn in an envelope each week and the class master keeps it until the end of the course.  At that time, the class as a whole decides what to do with the money.  It’s also a money-back guarantee.  If we drop out of the course or don’t agree with the value received, we get our money back.  Wow!  Unprecedented in my world.

The concept is to challenge our beliefs that operate outside of anything other than the spiritual law that we live in abundance.  I never realized my beliefs are so negative!  I’ve always thought of myself as a positive person, uplifting even.  Last night, first class, was an eye-opener.

Time – For some time now (grin), Spirit has been imposing on me the need to be more disciplined about my morning ritual of prayer and meditation.  Still, day after day, I have not been getting up early enough to do anything about it.  I’m lucky if I get 3 days/week in.

COMMITMENT:  It’s black and white – you either do it, or you don’t.  So, I got up this morning and hopefully (prayerfully), will do the same thing every day for the remainder of this 7 week course.  At the risk of sounding like Buzz Lightyear, it would be great to develop this habit – Infinity and Beyond.

However, at the time this COMMITMENT was announced in the class, my immediate reaction was, “90 minutes!  Where will I find 90 minutes/day?”  Then right on the heels of that was the thought, “I’ll never stick to it."

When did I get so darn negative?  Have I always been?  If so, is that the “it’ that is keeping me stuck?  I’ve come a long way in my life, but clearly I have a lot more positive growth to do.

Talent – The course is being taught by my friend, David, the minister at a Unity church; so, understandably the majority of students are members of the church (I am not).  Most of them already give more than 10% of their talent in volunteer service.  Me?  Not so much.  I had to stretch to come up with something:  Let’s see… I carry a trash bag around my neighborhood and clean-up periodically.  I actually had to ask, “Would that fit the parameters as part of my 10%?”  But before I even asked that question, I actually asked, “Can I ask a silly question?”

Every time I spoke, my itty bitty shitty committees (IBSCs) were working overtime telling me how stupid I sounded and how less than I am.  They are another reason I’m not comfortable in social settings.  They are only active when I'm around people.  They would rather me be a mute wall flower, and they are exhausting to listen to.  According to the IBSC, people think I’m:

Uppity (a snob)
a Know-It-All,
Loud and Obnoxious, and/or
Rude and Bitchy

Negative, negative, negative – Enough!

So, enough about them.  Back to the class…. after getting over the shocking realization that I don’t exactly donate much of myself, my initial reaction was, “4 hours!  Where am I going to find an additional 4 hours/week?”  Then right on the heels of that thought were 2 more.  The first one being, “I don’t have that much to offer.”  Then I realized I can tutor science (someone in the group volunteered math tutoring), I can volunteer at local shelters (I am a certified domestic violence counselor), I can speak to youth groups, I can contact the local TBIA chapter (traumatic brain injury association) and do something.  Bottom line, I can offer to help – even if it’s just clerical help in the office.  I can even volunteer at the church!  What a concept!  LOL.

Okay, so I have a lot to give, but the 2nd thought was, “I don’t want to do any of that.”  Been there, done that, am worn out and just don’t want to.  Does that make me a horrible person?

What I want to do is:
  • Write.  And take classes to learn and improve my writing.
  • Crafts. And take classes to learn and improve my hobbies.
Couple that with my j.o.b., every day chores and regular responsibilities, and all this growth I'm working on -- I don't want to give time to anything else.

If I could find a way to do a mind-jerk and justify something within those realms as “volunteering” or tithing talent, I’d do it in a heartbeat.  But I suppose it wouldn’t pay to try and get ahead in life by cheating in your Prosperity Consciousness class.  Bwaaahhh!  

Perhaps that’s why I like picking up garbage these days.  I’m doing a service but I’m able to do it solo – on my own time, when I choose.  Volunteering, getting involved in groups and organizations, can take on a life of its own.  I’m not ready, and evidently, not willing to go there again.  So, I can keep walking around with a trash bag 30 minutes to an hour a week, but what am I going to do for the other 3 +/- hours?

Which brings me to another point:  Other than work or family and friends (and activities with my furbabies), I haven’t been around people for a very long time now.  It amazed me how rusty my social skills are, and how different my mindset is.  The other participants talked about their kids, their schedules, their lives in general and I felt removed, apart from all that.  It occurred to me that it’s almost as if I’m already living in a van, traveling in isolation – a part of the world, nature and God, but not people.  Only for me, for right now, I’m not out there yet.  I’m holed up in a hell hole and it’s not healthy, nor is it working.  This is not the life I want, so I will try something(s) different – including this class and the COMMITMENTS it requires.  I will be out there in my RV one day; just not today.

It’s funny.  I always thought that if I got “out there”, I’d finally feel healthy and whole.  That’s where my spirit lies.  I firmly believe that, but who would have ever thought that the route to get there is through socializing more – even if it’s just 4 hours/week?  Lordy, God has a strange sense of humor.  ;)

Treasure – Again, for the purpose of this class as I understand it, the 10% tithe is to challenge our belief system that we don’t have enough.  COMMITMENT – you’re either in, or you’re out.  So I did it.  I put my tithe of treasure in an envelope and put it in the basket.  It left me with only coins in my purse until the next pay day.  I suppose by definition that means I’m not penniless, but I quite literally can’t even buy a cup of coffee now.  Yet I have everything I need.  And isn’t that the point?  I want to live in a Class B or tiny Class C RV one day.  How much do I need anyway?

By the way, David, our instructor, asked for a paraphrase on this statement: “I can’t afford it.”  I absolutely LOVE what one of the participants offered.  Replace it with:

“I look forward to enjoying that when I get it.  Thank you.”

Well, I added the thank you, but isn’t that a wonderful statement?  I’ve been ruminating that I can’t afford an RV right now.  Erase.  Delete.  I now simply bask in the joy of how much I am going to enjoy it one day.  And I thank God for the dream.  From negative to blessed and grateful.  I love it.

Defining abundance:  This class is based on the book by David Owen Ritz, “The Keys to the Kingdom – an advanced course in prosperity consciousness building.”  He says:
“Abundance is my natural state of being. True abundance is the power to satisfy our [valid] needs and make our dreams come true.”  He points out that the word “make” could be substituted with “allow”.  (ref. Luke 12:22-34)
I can already tell that my prosperity has been stymied by my core beliefs and negative thinking, which ultimately is a lack of faith, is it not?

The 7-week course focuses on 7 keys.  Key one is:  Make the Commitment.
“The world was not given to you; you were given to the world.  Step into the natural flow of abundance by committing yourself to becoming a giver to life.”
I’m all in.  I’ve made the COMMITMENT.  I look forward to learning, and changing and growing.  It’s going to be an interesting 7 weeks.  And even though I am determined to remain drama-free (tick-tock), I have a feeling I should buckle up!

I'm glad you're here.  Thanks for sticking with me on this journey.


  1. Don't feel guilty about how you feel. Just do what you feel that you can do. Some day everything will begin to fall into place and you will be where you want to be. I have faith in you and am proud of how well you are handling you situation. It is what it is and you will just deal wit it!!!

    1. @ Susan - Thanks for the encouragement and support. You are such an inspiration. I look forward to meeting you F2F soon and seeing your rig and meeting Angel! :)

  2. i am thinking right now you work all the time and can hardly find time to take care of you and your babies and IF you had more time, and wanted to work more hours it should be at a job that pays. that is what i thought and think, i did do volunteer work for 3 years in a nursing home and 1 year with the homeless, but i did not need money and was not living how you are living. i hope this works for you, but if it does not, don't fret about it.

    1. @ Sandra - this, and the email exchange, really helped. You make some excellent points that, as you know, I took to heart. Thank you my friend. xxo!

  3. We have something in common because my first thought would have been the same about the 90 minutes a day.
    If it works for you then go with it. If not then learn from it and find something that does work for you :)

    1. @ Ann - I love this! I am investing a lot of hope in this class, but I love the freedom of, "If it works, then go with it. If not then learn from it and find something that does." So awesome I had to repeat it. :) Thank you.

  4. You said you can tutor science. Why not tutor young, aspiring writers instead?

    As for the rest I agree with Sandra. You don't have the luxury of extra money or energy right now and until recently you seemed to give all your time to others, leaving little for yourself.

    Fill your own cup first and you will find plenty to share :)

    1. @ Maria - good point. Reminds me of the oxygen mask on an airplane concept. :) Thank you.

  5. Congratulations to you for embarking on this ambitious plan which sounds like a good match for you and reaching your goals. The RV plan, etc.

    1. @ Terra - thank you! I love your blog BTW and can't wait to check out your books! I am always so honored and thrilled when a published author takes time to check out my blog - thank you again! HugZ!